Jewish Humour

Jewish Humour

Saturday, January 9, 2016

The Diet Guide to the Jewish Holidays:

Rosh  Hashanah  ------- Feast
Tzom  Gedalia ----------- Fast
Yom Kippur -------------- More  fasting
Sukkot  -------------------- Feast  for a week +
Hashanah Rabbah ----  More feasting
Simchat   Torah --------- Keep right on feasting
Month of Heshvan ----- No feasts or fasts for a whole month. Get a grip on yourself.
Hanukkah ---------------- Eat  potato pancakes
Tenth  of Tevet --------- Do not eat potato pancakes 
Tu B'Shevat ------------  Feast
Fast of  Esther  --------- Fast 
Purim ---------------------  Eat pastry
Passover  ---------------- Do not eat pastry for a week
Shavuot ------------------ Dairy  feast (cheesecake, blintzes, etc.) 
17th of Tammuz -------- Fast (definitely no cheesecake or blintzes)
Tish B'Av ----------------- Serious fast (don't even think about cheesecake or blintzes)
Month of Elul ------------ End of cycle. Enrol in  Centre for  Eating Disorders before High Holidays arrive again.Rosh  Hashanah  ------- Feast
Tzom  Gedalia ----------- Fast
Yom Kippur -------------- More  fasting
Sukkot  -------------------- Feast  for a week +
Hashanah Rabbah ----  More feasting
Simchat   Torah --------- Keep right on feasting
Month of Heshvan ----- No feasts or fasts for a whole month. Get a grip on yourself.
Hanukkah ---------------- Eat  potato pancakes
Tenth  of Tevet --------- Do not eat potato pancakes 
Tu B'Shevat ------------  Feast
Fast of  Esther  --------- Fast 
Purim ---------------------  Eat pastry
Passover  ---------------- Do not eat pastry for a week
Shavuot ------------------ Dairy  feast (cheesecake, blintzes, etc.) 
17th of Tammuz -------- Fast (definitely no cheesecake or blintzes)
Tish B'Av ----------------- Serious fast (don't even think about cheesecake or blintzes)
Month of Elul ------------ End of cycle. Enrol in  Centre for  Eating Disorders before High Holidays arrive again.

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