Jewish Humour

Jewish Humour

Friday, August 9, 2019

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Great story


I never told my children what my job was. I never wanted them to feel ashamed because of me. 

When my youngest daughter asked me what I did, I used to tell her hesitantly that I was a labourer. Before I went back home every day, I used to take a bath in the public toilets so they did not get any hint of the work I was doing. 

I wanted to send my daughters to school, to educate them. I wanted them to stand in front of people with dignity. I never wanted anyone to look down upon them like the way everyone did to me. 

People always humiliated me.

 I invested every penny of my earnings for my daughters’ education. I never bought a new shirt, instead I used the money for buying books for them. Respect is all I wanted them to earn for me. I was a cleaner. 

The day before the last date of my daughter’s college admission, I could not manage to get her admission fees. I could not work that day. I was sitting beside the rubbish, trying hard to hide my tears. 

All my co-workers were looking at me but no one came to speak to me. I had failed and felt heartbroken. I had no idea how to face my daughter who would ask me about the admission fees once I got back home. I was born poor. I believed nothing good can happen to a poor person. After work all the cleaners came to me, sat beside me and asked if I considered them as brothers. Before I could answer, they each handed me their one day's income. 

When I tried to refuse everyone; they confronted me by saying, ‘We will starve today if needed, but our daughter has to go to college.’ 

I couldn't reply to them. That day I did not take a shower; I went back to my house like a cleaner. 

My oldest daughter is going to finish her University very soon. Three of them do not let me go to work anymore. My oldest girl has a part time job and the other three of them do tuition. 

Oftentimes, my oldest daughter takes me to my working place. 

She feeds all my co-workers along with me. They laugh and ask her why she feeds them so often. 

My daughter told them, ‘All of you starved for me that day so I can become what I am today, pray for me that I can feed you all, every day.' 

Nowadays I don't feel like I am a poor man. Whoever has such children, how can he be poor? –

Monday, August 5, 2019

Moshe Plotnik's Laundry




Walking through San Francisco 's Chinatown, a tourist from the Midwest was enjoying  the artistry of all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners..... ...


When he turned a corner and saw a building with the sign

Moshe Plotnik's Laundry.


 'Moshe Plotnik?' he wondered. 'How does that belong in Chinatown ?'


 He walked into the shop and saw a fairly standard looking dry cleaner, although he could see that the proprietors were clearly aware of the uniqueness of the store name as there were baseball hats, T-shirts and coffee mugs emblazoned with the logo 


Moshe Plotnik's Laundry


The tourist selected a coffee cup as a conversation piece to take back to his office. Behind the counter was a smiling old Chinese gentleman who thanked him for his purchase.


 The tourist asked, 'Can you explain how this place got a name like 'Moishe Plotnik's Laundry?'’


 The old man answered, 'Ah..Evleebody ask me dat. It name of owner.'


 Looking around, the tourist asked, 'Is he here now?'


 'It me, Me him!' replied the old man 'Really? You're Chinese. How did you ever get a Jewish name like Moshe Plotnik?'


“ It simple” said the old man. 


“Many, many year ago I come to this country.. I, standing in line at Document Center of Immigration. Man in front of me was man from Poland ....Lady at counter look at him and say to him, 'What you name?’ He (Polish man) say to her  'Moshe Plotnik.'


 Then she look at me and say, 'What your name?'

 

I say,


'Sam Ting.'

Friday, August 2, 2019

The not so great social experiment

Thanks Pieter de Boer 

They were getting smarter until they discovered Twitter and Facebook