Jewish Humour

Jewish Humour

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Koos and Japie from Brakpan

Koos and Japie from Brakpan, were in Pretoria for the Currie Cup Final when suddenly they spotted a sign on a shop window.

Suits---R20 each
Shirts---R 10 each
Trousers---R8 each

Koos says to his china, 
"Hey Japie, liewe fok, check that my broe!!! Hey we could buy a whole load of these clothes, and when we get home, we could somme just sell them, and make a moerse fortune!

"But listen, boet, when we go into the shop, keep your flippin mouth shut, 'cos if they hear your Brakpan accent, they might try to skelm us."

They go in, and Koos says, "Excuse me Sir, man I'll take 50 of your suits at R20 each, plus gimme 100 shirts at R10 each, and I'll somme also take 50 pairs of your trousers at R8 each".

The shop owner says, "You from Brakpan, right?"

"Err... ja swaar", says Koos, "but how die donner did you know"?

The owner says, "This is a dry-cleaner, you doos!!!"

Monday, September 4, 2017

Love and Marriage

How BEDROOM smells after MARRIAGE:
First 3 years....
Perfumes, Flowers,

After 3 years....
Baby Powder, Johnson's Cream and Lotions, 
Baby Oils....

After 15 years....
Tiger balm, axe oil, methylsalicilate ointment 

After 40 years....
Spiritual books, watching Tv alone

Four stages of marriage:
��Mad for each other,
�� Made for each other,
�� Mad at each other &
�� Mad because of each other

What's Marriage?
Answer- MARRIAGE Is The 7th Sense of Humans, that Destroys All The Six Senses and Makes The Person NON Sense..!

Definition Of Happy Couple -
HE Does What SHE Wants…
SHE Does What SHE Wants

Wife: Dear, this computer is not working as per my command....

Exactly darling! its a computer, not a Husband..!!

'Laughing At Your Own Mistakes, Can Lengthen Your Life."
- Shakespeare

"Laughing At your Wife's Mistakes, can SHORTEN your Life...."
- Shakespeare's Wife

Dont laugh alone,
 pass it on