The Perfect man - Frank Feldman

An Andrew Cohen special!!

Marvin walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing.  You’re just like Frank".

Passenger: “Who?"

Cabbie: "Frank Feldman".  He’s a guy who did everything right all the time.  Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."  

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody." 

Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete.  He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis  He could golf with the pros.  He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano.  He was an amazing guy." 

Passenger: "Sounds like he was really something special."

 

Cabbie: "There’s more.  He had a memory like a computer.  He remembered everybody’s birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with.  He could fix anything. Not like me.  I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out.  But Frank Feldman could do everything right." 

Passenger: "Wow, what a guy!" 

Cabbie: ‘He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams.  Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them.  But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good.  He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too.  He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman." 

Passenger: "How did you meet him?" 

Cabbie: “I never actually met Frank.  He died and I married his wife"