A hilarious explanation on how to recognise a Jew and how to become one

Only in Israel!

There are 3 kind of Jewish! 

Al Kol Aileh

And finally, thanks to the ladies guild for this wonderful Brocha

South African Rugby Supporters

It’s time like these when you have your South African heartstrings being pulled 

Rosh Hashannah

So, what is Sukkot ?

Sukkot is an agricultural festival that originally was considered a thanksgiving for the fruit harvest. 

Sukkot are hut-like structures that the Jews lived in during the 40 years of travel through the wilderness after the exodus from Egypt. As a temporary dwelling, the sukkah also represents the fact that all existence is fragile, and therefore 

Sukkot is a time to appreciate the shelter of our homes and our bodies.

Sukkot is Z’man Simchateinu - a time to be happy ! 

See the full post:

https://toriavey.com/what-is-sukkot/#VZroYtVbqd4Vdqk2.99

The Difference between Success and Happiness

Sukkot is an agricultural festival that originally was considered a thanksgiving for the fruit harvest. 

Sukkot are hut-like structures that the Jews lived in during the 40 years of travel through the wilderness after the exodus from Egypt. As a temporary dwelling, the sukkah also represents the fact that all existence is fragile, and therefore Sukkot is a time to appreciate the shelter of our homes and our bodies.

Sukkot is Z’man Simchateinu - a time to be happy ! 

I guess why I like the picture of 2 men sitting on a park bench laughing and being happy  - is the way it encapulates  happiness as a feeling - without the need for the trappings of success.

So what is the difference between success and happiness?

People strive for success ....... should they strive for happiness? 

All to often you see people with financial success feeling unhappy, while people who are not “financially successful” are feeling happy.

Maybe Success is material.... and.... Happiness is a feeling? 

So after doing a little  googling .... this is what I found.....

Success does not create happiness, but happiness can create success. Think about people who seem to attract success. Not the ruthless competitors — but people you just naturally want to be around.

Success is getting what you want; happiness is wanting what you get.

Success is having all the money in the world; happiness is having family and friends to spend it on.

Success is measurable; happiness is limitless.

Success is a fancy car; happiness is a joyous journey.

Success is working hard; happiness is loving the work.

Success is having everyone know your name; happiness is knowing everyone’s name.

Success is being right; happiness is being true.

Success is money in the bank; happiness can’t be deposited.

Success is private jets; happiness is flying high.

Success is never easy; happiness will never feel difficult.

Success is money; happiness is value.

Success is late hours; happiness is all day.

Success is second homes; happiness is always home.

Success is material things; happiness is in the materials.

Success is praise; happiness is never needing it.

Success is reaching the top; happiness has no ceiling.

Success is all the money in the world; happiness is needing none of it.

Success is doing what you love; happiness is loving what you do.

Success is envied; happiness is shared.

Success is measured in human terms; happiness is a  gift for those who live their lives well according to their core values.

Success is not a reflection of happiness, but rather, the other way around. Happiness is the ultimate measure of success. 

Am I my brothers Kippa?

When young David was asked by his father to say the evening prayer, he realized he didn't have his head covered, so he asked his little brother, Henry, to rest a hand on his head until prayers were over. Henry grew impatient after a few minutes and removed his hand.

The father said, "This is important ... put your hand back on his head!" to which Henry exclaimed, "What, am I my brother's kippah?"

Esther Ben Moshe

Rabbi approaches a guest in shul and says: "I'd like to give you an Aliyah. 

What is your name?" 

The man answers: "Esther ben Moshe." 

The Rabbi says: "No, I need YOUR name." 

"It's Esther ben Moshe", the man says. 

"How can that be your name?" asks the Rabbi. 

The man answers: "I've been having financial problems, so everything is now in my wife's name"

The best drosh on Yom Kippur and Kol Nidre

Yom Kippur is a day of when Jews fast and atone for their sins. 

It starts with a holy prayer called Kol Nidre - which is a Prayer in Aramaic - saying that all your vows and promises made are annulled and you start the year afresh .

Rabbi YYJacobson shares a  brilliant drosh. It hits the right spot, full of wisdom, insights, inspiration and humorous stories .

• The camel story
• The story of the man wanting 38C
• The importance of getting rid of preconceived ideas and being able to achieve your potential
• And many more 

It’s well worth finding a quiet spot and listening to this for 54 minutes. You will love it 

. May you and your family be inscribed in the Book of Life for goodness, kindness, health & prosperity.

Just do it! Give it a go

Interviewed By Gretchen Rubin www.gretchenrubin.com 

Gretchen is a best selling author on habits and happiness with close to 3 million followers 

Just do it! 

Interview: Sarah Hurwitz

From 2009 to 2017, Sarah Hurwitz served as a White House speechwriter, first as a senior speechwriter for President Barack Obama and then as head speechwriter for First Lady Michelle Obama. She's the author of a new book, Here All Along: Finding Meaning, Spirituality, and a Deeper Connection to Life—in Judaism (After Finally Choosing to Look There).

I do love a long subtitle!

I was interested to hear what Sarah had to say about happiness.

Gretchen: What’s something you know now about happiness that you didn’t know when you were 18 years old?

Sarah: I’ve always been risk averse—I tend to focus on everything that could go wrong and way underestimate the upside of any decision. But as I grew older, I realized that I was totally miscalculating risk. 

For example, when I left the White House, I had this crazy idea that I wanted to write a book about Judaism. I had grown up without much Jewish background and had started learning about Judaism while I was in the White House. I was blown away by what I found and wanted to share it with others. 

But my risk-hating brain was terrified of this idea: Who was I to write a book like this? I’m not a rabbi—I’m not qualified! And what if it turns out terribly? And what if no one reads it?

But by framing things this way, I was only thinking about the risk of writing this book…and I wasn’t considering the risk of not writing it. I really wanted to write this book—

Judaism has so many insights that I wanted to share about how to be a good person, lead a meaningful life, and find spiritual connection. And when I finally considered the risks of not writing it, I realized they were pretty serious: deep regret, frustration, misalignment with my truest self. 

So I took the plunge and wrote the book. And while it was tremendously challenging, I felt a great deal of joy and purpose in doing it, and I never had a single moment of regret. Again and again in my life, when I’ve recalculated risk that way—taking into account the risk of not taking risks—I’ve made decisions that have led me to happiness.

You’ve spent a lot of time studying and writing about Judaism. What has surprised or intrigued you—or your readers—most?

People often think of ancient religions like Judaism as conservative and reactionary…but it turns out that Judaism offers plenty of wisdom that’s both quite radical and wildly countercultural. Just consider the foundational Jewish idea that we’re all created in the image of God, which Judaism understands to mean that we’re each of infinite worth and we’re all totally equal to each other. 

You don’t have to believe in any kind of God to see the power of that idea. And if you don’t think it’s radical and countercultural, ask yourself why you didn’t stop to help that person on the street who asked you for money. If that person had been a celebrity or CEO, I’m guessing you probably would have stopped. In other words, if we really internalized and acted upon this in-the-image idea, our world would look very different.

Another example is Shabbat (the Jewish sabbath), which involves taking a day of rest each week. Jews who observe Shabbat often refrain from working; spending money; using their phones, computers, and TV; and much more. And they spend time in prayer, and with their families and communities, being fully present with loved ones. 

In a way, Shabbat can be understood as a weekly protest against the consumerism, materialism, and workaholism of the modern world – all those voices that say, “You’re not enough, you don’t have enough—you need to work more, spend more, improve yourself, and do a better job of curating your life for others’ consumption on social media.”

Those who observe Shabbat are, at least for one day, choosing to tune out those voices and focus on the things that really matter. I think it’s awesome.

Is there a common misperception or incorrect assumption about Judaism that you’d like to correct?

I used to assume that Judaism says that God is essentially a man in the sky who rewards and punishes us as we deserve, and if you don’t buy that, then you’re an atheist. 

But actually, Jewish theology is incredibly diverse and offers all kinds of sophisticated thinking about God—some of which really resonates with me. 

There are Jewish thinkers who have argued that God is everything and we are all interconnected, all one.  Or that God is the process by which all living things become their highest, truest forms—the process by which we become more ethical, authentic people. 

Or that God is what arises in moments of deep connection between two people—that when we encounter another person in their fullest humanity, we’re encountering God. And there are plenty of other Jewish God conceptions as well.

It turns out that Judaism is a vast, deep, millennia-old tradition that encourages questioning, debating, and thinking for ourselves (and maybe you’ve heard the old joke: two Jews, three opinions). This approach is one of the many things that I love about Judaism.

Rosh Hashannah in Oz

We have completed another orbit around the sun only to find ourselves where we started, again. 

So we reach out to each other to say hi and know that there is a place in our hearts for each of you. 

Rosh Hashanah brings to mind those near and dear to us, and gives us a chance to reflect on the past year, and journey to date... and allows us to recalibrate .... where to from here.

It’s a time for introspection and bring grateful. 

Being grateful for being surrounded by family and by friends who have become family.

Being grateful of living at this exciting “inflection point” of our journey, where innovation, connection, collaboration and a senses of community is bringing the planet closer together. 🌏 

Being aware of the issues that affect us , and having the tools 🧰to be able to do better. 

Robyn and I are still privileged to be able to work, and am grateful that we both seem to love what we do.....

Tanya and Jed have a baby... Maya.... (now 9 months) who is incredulous, helpless and is no question - “the boss” and in complete control. 

Tanya has just celebrated her 30th orbit 🌏on Sunday .... and goes back to work at KPMG this week.

Jed and his mum, Nicca, work with a team of Architects (CaveUrban) designing and  building sustainable buildings and art installations around the world - with bamboo as a medium. 

Heidi is teaching English and History in the Northern Territory ... continually looking for ways to make the lives of those around her a little better. 

May the coming year bring peace, joy, love and light to you and yours.

Ivan, Robyn, Tanya, Jed, Heidi and Maya 

Growing up in Zim

This is from Joey Van Wyk . A Rhodesian and Zimbabwe National - who gives an insight of what it was like to grow up in Rhodesia 

https://www.facebook.com/1112252189/posts/10204404346004699?sfns=mo

11am, 11th day of the 11th month 1965 (note that 65 also makes 11) the Rhodesian flag was raised and UDI declared. 

The international world thought they would bring us to our knees by instituting sanctions, instead they made us stronger. We learnt to make our own products and therefore more jobs were created. They turned their backs on us and said they would not help us...our Rhodesian $ was stronger than the US$ and the British pound and our economy so strong I never saw a beggar on a street corner until I left my beautiful country, no beggars of ANY colour, race or group. We learnt to be thrifty and went without much yet never lived in poverty. Our meals so plentiful that we could always share a plate with unexpected guests. 

There was a war on and the amazing men of our country, both black and white, fought side by side against the communists / terrorists, putting their lives on the line to protect homeland and fellow countrymen, many losing their lives. I myself lost 3 family members and many friends to the war. The world said we were wrong yet they send their troops to OTHER countries to fight terrorists, we only protected our borders. 

The woman were left at home to take care of families, quickly becoming just as capable as the men in putting up shelves, growing vegetable gardens, fixing minor issues with the car or electronics, being both Mother and Father to the children and living in hope every day that their men would not be one of the casualties this time round, sometimes having that hope shattered.

I am grateful for growing up in a country that taught us to be resilient and forthright, speaking our minds with honesty and truth. 

That taught us to live in the moment, each moment with gratitude and joy, to always make the best of every situation, to not cry into our cups because someone looked at us the wrong way, our car broke down, the garage was out of petrol or the corner store did not have our favourite product in stock but make do with what they do have and appreciate it. 

We learnt to stand by each other, if something needed doing it would be all hands on deck, even for people you hadn't met. 

We learnt that there is strength in unity. 

We lived with respect, admiration and total acceptance for each other. 

There was huge respect between black and white, each acknowledging the others culture and their right to live their culture in peace. 

I salute my fellow countrymen and woman from the beautiful land called Rhodesia, our country may be lost to us and now lying in poverty and waste but our memories are rich and our character and love for each other remains.

Leon Schuster - supporting the Bokke at the rugby World Cup

Best Rugby Song - rates with the #hukke 

Maintenance issue in a hotel

Support from your community

Great story

 https://www.facebook.com/258091961307/posts/10157317785331308?s=699655655&substory_index=0&sfns=mo

I never told my children what my job was. I never wanted them to feel ashamed because of me. 

When my youngest daughter asked me what I did, I used to tell her hesitantly that I was a labourer. Before I went back home every day, I used to take a bath in the public toilets so they did not get any hint of the work I was doing. 

I wanted to send my daughters to school, to educate them. I wanted them to stand in front of people with dignity. I never wanted anyone to look down upon them like the way everyone did to me. 

People always humiliated me.

 I invested every penny of my earnings for my daughters’ education. I never bought a new shirt, instead I used the money for buying books for them. Respect is all I wanted them to earn for me. I was a cleaner. 

The day before the last date of my daughter’s college admission, I could not manage to get her admission fees. I could not work that day. I was sitting beside the rubbish, trying hard to hide my tears. 

All my co-workers were looking at me but no one came to speak to me. I had failed and felt heartbroken. I had no idea how to face my daughter who would ask me about the admission fees once I got back home. I was born poor. I believed nothing good can happen to a poor person. After work all the cleaners came to me, sat beside me and asked if I considered them as brothers. Before I could answer, they each handed me their one day's income. 

When I tried to refuse everyone; they confronted me by saying, ‘We will starve today if needed, but our daughter has to go to college.’ 

I couldn't reply to them. That day I did not take a shower; I went back to my house like a cleaner. 

My oldest daughter is going to finish her University very soon. Three of them do not let me go to work anymore. My oldest girl has a part time job and the other three of them do tuition. 

Oftentimes, my oldest daughter takes me to my working place. 

She feeds all my co-workers along with me. They laugh and ask her why she feeds them so often. 

My daughter told them, ‘All of you starved for me that day so I can become what I am today, pray for me that I can feed you all, every day.' 

Nowadays I don't feel like I am a poor man. Whoever has such children, how can he be poor? –

Moshe Plotnik's Laundry

Walking through San Francisco 's Chinatown, a tourist from the Midwest was enjoying  the artistry of all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners..... ...

When he turned a corner and saw a building with the sign

Moshe Plotnik's Laundry.

 'Moshe Plotnik?' he wondered. 'How does that belong in Chinatown ?'

 He walked into the shop and saw a fairly standard looking dry cleaner, although he could see that the proprietors were clearly aware of the uniqueness of the store name as there were baseball hats, T-shirts and coffee mugs emblazoned with the logo 

Moshe Plotnik's Laundry

The tourist selected a coffee cup as a conversation piece to take back to his office. Behind the counter was a smiling old Chinese gentleman who thanked him for his purchase.

 The tourist asked, 'Can you explain how this place got a name like 'Moishe Plotnik's Laundry?'’

 The old man answered, 'Ah..Evleebody ask me dat. It name of owner.'

 Looking around, the tourist asked, 'Is he here now?'

 'It me, Me him!' replied the old man 'Really? You're Chinese. How did you ever get a Jewish name like Moshe Plotnik?'

“ It simple” said the old man. 

“Many, many year ago I come to this country.. I, standing in line at Document Center of Immigration. Man in front of me was man from Poland ....Lady at counter look at him and say to him, 'What you name?’ He (Polish man) say to her  'Moshe Plotnik.'

 Then she look at me and say, 'What your name?'

 

I say,

'Sam Ting.'

The not so great social experiment

Thanks Pieter de Boer 

They were getting smarter until they discovered Twitter and Facebook 

A day at the races

A bloke was having a few drinks by himself at a London casino when he met up with a striking but quite short and slim young woman. They got on famously and ended up in bed. 
  
The next morning she told him she was a jockey and that if he came to the races at Ascot that day, she'd tip him the winner of each race she was riding in by giving him a sign as she rode out of the saddling paddock. 
  
In Race 2, she rode out rubbing both her boobs. The bloke looked through the race book and found 'Two Abreast' on which he placed $100 at 5-1. It won by two lengths. 
  
In Race 4 she rode out rubbing her fingers round her eyes. He put the lot on 'Eyeliner' at 10-1 and was then $5000 in front 
  
. 
In the last race she came out standing up in the stirrups and rubbing her growler. He backed nothing. 
  

After the races, he met up with her and thanked her for the winners in races 2 and 4. 'What about 'Itchy Mickey' in the sixth?', she asked. 'It paid a fortune?' 

'Sh*t', he said, 'I thought you were telling me the favourite was scratched!' 
  

Rabbis advice to man who wants to live to eternity

Get married!

It’s a dogs life

Really bad marketing dad jokes

Which is the worst? 

His girlfriend left the marketing exec because she caught him cheating - “He called  it A/B Testing”

When a vegetarian and an SEO marketer walks into a bar - “who talks about organic first ?”

I went to a musical the other day and they wouldn’t let me in - I guess they didn’t like it because I wanted to “capture the leads”

What is a marketers favourite way to drink beer? “Through a funnel”

How do you get yoda to get his first lead - “Through Salesforce “

The guy who left my emarketing team went to sell trampolines “because his bounce rates were so high “

Whose deaf?

Chaim  feared his wife Zelda  wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.

Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.

The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

'Here's what you do,' said the Doctor, 'stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.'

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was In the den. He says to himself, 'I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens.' Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?'

No response.

So Chaim moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, 'Zelda , what's for dinner?'

Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his Wife and asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?'

Again he gets no response.

So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. 'Honey, what's for dinner?'

Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. 'Zelda, what's for dinner?' 

 Chaim,  Just gvald geshrign, for the FIFTH time, CHICKEN!'

The winky wonky donkey - hilarious

Fatherly Advice to Daughters Boyfriend

Daughter to father

Dad, there is something my boyfriend said to me that I don’t understand

He said that I have a beautiful Chassis, with a great pair of Airbags and a fantastic Bumper

Father to Daughter 

Tell your boyfriend that if he opens your Bonnet and tries to check your Oil with his Dipstick. I will tighten his Nuts so hard that his Headlights will pop out and he will start leaking from his Exhaust pipe

Best Comment wins a Prize

Let me start :- 

I was blind and now I can see - a miracle a miracle !!

Truth is stranger than fiction

From my friend Ilan Elkaim . A story retold to him by Holocast survivor Mr Krausz 

A religious Jewish man was on a flight in the 1990’s from London to New York. Late in the afternoon he walked the aisles of the plane asking for volunteers to help make a minyan at the back of the plane for the observant Jews to have their minchah/ maariv or evening prayers. He stopped next to one elderly man and asked him if he were Jewish. The old man said he was. The religious man asked him if he would mind helping make the minyan, the quorum of 10 men needed to say certain prayers. The elderly man refused and became angry and emotional. 

“Leave me. I was in Auschwitz. I lost my wife and 4 children in the gas chambers. Where was God?” he shouted. The religious man apologized and moved on. He found another Jewish man and they proceeded with their prayers. 

The plane landed in NY and everyone went about their way. 3 months later it was Yom Kippur. The religious man was at his “shtibel”, his neighborhood synagogue standing outside when he recognized the elderly man from the plane walking by. 

“How are you?” he enquired as the old man walked past. “I am the man from the plane trip 3 months ago who asked you to make a minyan”

“Oh yes, I remember” replied the old man

“I am very well thanks”

The religious man said “today is Yom Kippur. You told me that you lost your family in Auschwitz. We are about to begin Yizkor (Remembrance) services. Come into shul for a few moments and write the name of your late family on a piece of paper. We will honour them by calling out their names.”

The elderly man thought about it for a moment and agreed. He followed the religious man into the shul and the religious man took the piece of paper to the Rabbi who was about to begin the service. 

The Rabbi read the piece of paper and asked the religious man who gave him the piece of paper. The religious man turned around and pointed to the elderly man at the back and said “he did” The Rabbi called the elderly man and after his protestations simmered down, he went up to the Rabbi. The Rabbi held the piece of paper but did not look at it. “Your wife’s name was Sarah? And your 4 sons were Yakov, Moshe, Yosef and Samuel?” 

“Yes” said the elderly man 

“And they all died in Auschwitz?”

“Yes” said the elderly man

“NO” shouted the Rabbi. I survived”

Son and father met for the first time in-over 45 years Each thought the other had perished. They had been living 5 miles away from each other for many years

And so I pause for Yom Hashoah tomorrow to remember the souls, 6 million of them who never made it

7-11 focus on healthy

Inspired by Amy Mcarthy 

https://www.eater.com/2019/3/22/18277582/7-eleven-healthy-food-organic-slurpees-lab-store

The organic food market is currently worth upwards of $45 billion and 7-11 wants a share of this pie! 

A store in Dallas is being used as a prototype of things to come for 7-11 where Slurpees and Hotdogs are being replaced by Superfoods! 

The new store 

Right next to the roller grill of hot dogs, sit warmers full of soups like vegetarian tomato basil and gluten-free chili. 

Across the aisle is the “better for you” refrigerator case, filled with grab-and-go lunch items: sandwiches, salads, and plastic bowls filled with a “seasonal blend” of mushy kiwi, grapes, cantaloupe, strawberries, and a single pineapple spear. Thanks to the current dominance of the keto trend, hard boiled eggs; portion-controlled packets of cured meats; cheeses; and cured meats wrapped around cheeses are abundant.

Slurpees are getting the health treatment - and will be just another way to get in your daily dose of superfoods. 

Milkshakes are being replaced with Soylent, and every Red Bull is being replaced with 7-Eleven’s locally-sourced kombucha.

Our favourite fried tortilla chips are being replaced by the gluten-free granola instead. 

Fruit and hard-boiled eggs is replacing Nachos! 

Heaven help me !!

What would you rather have.... the sugar laden slurpee , a bag of salt and vinegar kettle chips and  a mars bar (eaten and drunk in same mouthful) or kombucha and a carrot stick!

I want a 7-Eleven that doesn’t judge me or think I should eat better, especially when I’m laden with beer at 2 a.m. and in desperate need of a  chilli hot dog and a Fanta slurpee - devoured before I have even returned to my car! 

What do you think? 

These games are nuts - people putting their balls on the line

Shotput 

Soccer

Instructions to mum and dad

Who can relate? 

 

Do you have holes in your life? The story of 2 pots

Great article shared by YY Jacobson celebrating International Women’s Day 

https://www.linkedin.com/in/yyjacobson

A story is told about an elderly Chinese woman who owned two large pots. Each hung on the ends of a pole, which she carried every day on her shoulders to fill with water from the stream located at the end of the village. One of the pots was complete and always delivered a full portion of water; the other pot was cracked and arrived home each day only half full.

Of course, the complete pot was proud of its accomplishments. It felt really good about itself. The poor cracked pot, on the other hand, was ashamed of its own imperfections; it was miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do.

After six years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, the humbled broken pot finally opened its heart to the woman at the stream. "I hate myself,” the cracked pot cried, “I am so useless and valueless. What purpose does my existence have when each day I leak out half of my water? I am such a loser!”

The old woman smiled and said,”Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side? I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path. Every day while we walk back from the stream, you have the opportunity to water them.

"For six years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate our home. Without you being just the way you are, we would have never created this beauty together."

The Truth, the Whole Truth and…

Harry gets stopped by a police car. When the police officer gets to his car, Harry says, "What's the problem officer?"

Officer: You were going at least 65 in a 50mph zone.

Harry: No sir, I was going 50.

Wife: Oh Harry, You were going 70.

Harry gives his wife a dirty look.

Officer: I will also give you a ticket for your broken brake light.

Harry: Broken brake light? I didn't know about a broken brake light!

Wife: Oh Harry, you've known about that brake light for months.

Harry gives his wife a really dirty look.

Officer: I am also going to book you for not wearing your seat belt.

Harry: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car.

Wife: Oh Harry, you never wear your seat belt.

Harry turns to his wife and yells, "Shut your mouth!"

Officer turns to the woman and says, "Madam, does your husband talk to you this way all the time?"

Wife: "No, only when he's drunk…"

3 lasses in a bar

I was in a bar in The UK the other day and said to the 3 ladies at the bar...

“Are you lasses from Scotland”

They all shouted back - it’s Wales you idiot”

So I then said 

 “Are you 3 Whales from Scotland?”

That was the last thing I can remember 

Jivin

Fred Astaire said it was ‘the greatest dancing he had ever seen on film’. In a dance performance for the ages, the Nicholas Brothers, Fayard (1914–2006) and Harold (1921–2000), dazzled audiences with their acrobatic routine to Cab Calloway’s hit song, Jumpin’ Jive. Not only that, but the routine was unrehearsed and what you see was the first take! [source] 

The performance was from the 1943 musical film, Stormy Weather.

Communication at its finest

It’s Windy today

No Its Thursday

So am I

Waiter another round!