Jewish Humour

Jewish Humour

Thursday, February 15, 2018

Why Jews Get Ahead

Joke borrowed from Jeff Jacobson with thanks .

Bill Gates (about as Goyish as anybody can be) advertised for a new chairman of Microsoft Europe.  5000 candidates show up at the job screening.  They are assembled in a large room.  Among them is Maurice Cohen, a French Jew, a small, bearded, bespeckled man.
 
Bill Gates thanks the candidates for coming but asks all those who are not familiar with the JAVA programming language to leave; 2000 people rise and leave the room.  Maurice Cohen says to himself, "I do not know this language but what have I got to lose if I stay?  I'll give it a try".
 
Bill Gates then asks all those who have no experience of managing teams of more than 100 people to leave. Another 2000 people go. Maurice Cohen says to himself, "I have never managed anybody but myself but what have I got to lose if I stay? What can happen to me?”

Then Bill Gates asks all candidates who do not have outstanding academic qualifications to rise and leave; 500 people remove themselves. Maurice Cohen says to himself, "I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose if I stay? So he stays in the room.

Lastly, Bill Gates asks all of the candidates who do not speak the Serbo-Croat language to rise and leave; 498 people rise and leave the room. Maurice Cohen says himself, "I do not speak Serbo-Croat but what the hell! Have I got anything to lose?"

He finds himself alone with one other candidate. Everyone else has gone.

Bill Gates joins them and says: "Apparently you are the only two candidates who know JAVA, have managed large teams of employees, have advanced PhD degrees, and who can speak Serbo-Croatian. I'd like to hear you converse with one another in Serbo-Croatian."

Calmly Maurice turns to the other candidate and says to him: "Baruch ata Adonai."
The other candidate answers: "Elohénu melech ha'olam."

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