Bill Maher on the Israel - Palestinian conflict

Some classics 

• What we need is a real dose of realism 

• Palestine was under the Ottoman empire for 400 years and now an ottoman is something you put under your feet 

• People move - humans aren’t nice !! - 1923 1m Greeks out of Turkey .

• Jews kicked out of every Arab country and European pogroms !!! Fiddler on the roof as they left “Oy, this place it isn’t so great anyway - we’ll fiddle somewhere else!!!”

• East Jerusalem could’ve been a Palestinian state  that competes with Dubai - but they chose to fight - “from the river to the sea”  Spoiler alert , Israel and its 7 million Jewish citizens aren’t going anywhere - they like their bagel with a shmeer - get used to it!  

• If you think you’re going to move the 7 million Jews - there’s gonna be some kvetching - where you gonna put them Texas? Mind you you can move them with the wailing wall and kill 2 birds with 1 stone ! 

 

Religion - a narrative of note!!

Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told.

Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day.

And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever til the end of time!

But He loves you.

He loves you, and He needs money!

Winning and Agnes out for a pint

Hilarious