Jewish Humour

Jewish Humour

Monday, October 23, 2023

A Jewish Wedding in times of tragedy is a mitzvah





#Jewish #weddings go forward even during times of tragedy. As the #Talmud instructs in the section on marriage: “If a funeral procession and a wedding procession meet at an intersection, the wedding procession goes first.”

 בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ אֱלֹהֵֽינוּ מֶֽלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם אֲשֶׁר בָּרָא שָׂשׂוֹן וְשִׂמְחָה חָתָן וְכַלָּה. גִּילָה רִנָּה דִּיצָה וְחֶדְוָה אַהֲבָה וְאַחֲוָה וְשָׁלוֹם וְרֵעוּת. מְהֵרָה יְיָ אֱלֹהֵֽינוּ יִשָּׁמַע בְּעָרֵי יְהוּדָה וּבְחֻצוֹת יְרוּשָׁלָםִ, קוֹל שָׂשׂוֹן וְקוֹל שִׂמְחָה קוֹל חָתָן וְקוֹל כַּלָּה קוֹל מִצְהֲלוֹת חֲתָנִים מֵחֻפָּתָם וּנְעָרִים 
מִמִּשְׁתֵּה נְגִינָתָם. בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ מְשַׂמֵּֽחַ חָתָן עִם הַכַּלָּה׃

Baruch ata Adonai, Eloheinu melech ha’olam, asher bara sason v’simcha chatan v’chala. Gila, rina, ditzah v’chedva, ahava v’achava v’shalom v’rei’ut. M’heira Adonai Eloheinu yishama b’arei yehuda u’vchutzot yerushalayim, kol sason v’kol simcha kol chatan v’kol kala, kol mitzhalot chatanim meichupatam u’n’arim mimishtei n’ginatam. Baruch ata Adonai m’sameiach chatan im ha’kala.

Blessed are you, Adonai, our God, ruler of the universe, who created joy and gladness, loving couples, mirth, glad song, pleasure, delight, love, loving communities, peace, and companionship. 
Adonai, our God, let there soon be heard in the cities of Judah and the streets of Jerusalem the sound of joy and the sound of gladness, the voice of the loving couple, the sound of the their jubilance from their canopies and of the youths from their song-filled feasts. Blessed are you who causes the couple to rejoice, one with the other.

The groom stomped a glass to remind us of the tragedies that have befallen Jerusalem and the Jewish people — as if we needed reminding on this night!

And then we danced 

Every part of this wedding was made with love and hope. Every stranger instantly became family.

Thursday, October 19, 2023

Middle Eastern states react to hospital blast in Gaza




The same people who murdered 1200 Jews on Oct 7 - caused the killing of 500 Palestinians from the Gazan Hospital Blast.


It was caused from rockets aimed at civilian targets in Israel - that were misfired ….


“Attack on hospital - Gaza - caused by jihad rockets failed - to attack Israel 


https://amp.theguardian.com/world/2023/oct/18/al-ahli-arab-hospital-piecing-together-what-happened-as-israel-insists-militant-rocket-to-blame


If it is proved that this is the case - should neighbouring countries blame Hamas and other organisations looking to annihilate Israel and the Jews .


Here's how neighbouring countries have reacted to the Gaza hospital blast - with Arab states and Iran blaming Israel:

  • Egypt's President Sisi said he condemned "in the strongest of terms Israel's bombardment", calling it a "clear violation of international law".
  • Iran's foreign ministry - alleging the blast was the result of an Israeli air strike - said "unarmed and defenceless people" were killed and injured
  • The Syrian presidency called it "one of the most heinous and bloodiest massacres against humanity"; words echoed by Saudi Arabia, which called it a "heinous crime"
  • Jordan's King Abdullah described it as a "war crime"
  • And the UAE has, jointly with Russia, called for an emergency meeting of the UN Security Council on Wednesday morning



It is in Israel’s interest to have neighbours who are well fed , educated and who are  “happy with their lot” . It is not in Israeli interests to have their neighbours starving and in pain. 


The billions of dollars that are donated and provided to Palestinians should go towards improving the lives of Palestinians , not going towards building tunnels and purchasing weapons with the aim of extermination Jews and obliterating the state of Israel !


Maybe the “war cry” should be 


Free Palestine …. From Hamas 



My heart breaks when I hear of a soul - be it Israeli or Palestinian - suffering as a result of war - which should not be.


The only solution - without one party being obliterated - is to have 2 independent territories - Who respect each right to exist and self govern ….. that live in peace with their neighbours …. 


Pray that this can happen in our lifetime !


What happened in Israel last week was horrific and wrong. The pain and fear so many are feeling is deep and real. 


What’s happening in Gaza now, and has been happening in Palestine under the Occupation for decades, is horrific and wrong. The depth and reality of this suffering cannot be ignored.”


There cannot be 2 sides 

There can only be one side  and that is the side of humanity 

Monday, October 2, 2023

Hello Mudda Hello Fuddah 1963

Gotta love this skit about Camp Granada 

Anybody k ow where you can get the record

 “you don’t have to be Jewish?” 

Or

“When you’re in love you don’t have to be Jewish”