What do you call a man who punches your 2 front teeth out?

A Puth 

The Chicken and the Fowl comparing issues

You think Irritable Fowl Syndrome is bad - wait run til you hit henopause!

#menopause #health #viba 

What people say when they are thirsty

*THE DIFFERENCES*

 The Italian says, "I'm thirsty. I must have wine."

The Frenchman says, "I'm thirsty. I must have cognac."

The Russian says, "I'm thirsty. I must have vodka."

The German says, "I'm thirsty. I must have beer."

The Mexican says, "I'm thirsty. I must have tequila."

The Jewish man says, "I'm thirsty. I must have diabetes."

HIGH HOLIDAY PERKS -

Two little old ladies were attending a rather long Shul service. One leaned over and whispered, "My tuchas is going to sleep.”

 

"I know”, replied her companion, "I heard it snore three times.”

Secret Service

*MOISHE* 

Moishe Goldberg was heading out of the Synagogue one day, and as always Rabbi Mendel was standing at the door, shaking hands as the Congregation departed. The rabbi grabbed Moishe by the hand, pulled him aside and whispered these words at him: "You need to join the Army of God!"

 

Moishe replied: "I'm already in the Army of God, Rabbi."

 

The rabbi questioned: "Then how come I don't see you except for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur?"

 

Moishe whispered back: "I'm in the secret service."