Why you should take the vaccine

Tevye to his wife Re Cows, Hens and Shloimi

Tevye says to his wife while trying to get romantic in bed, "Zieskeleh, stroking her breast, if these could give milk we could get rid of the cow!Oy Tevye, what's with you!? Then Tevye slowly moves down her zoftig body and starts to caress her between the thighs. Oy Tevye, she gasps.! Tevye says, Kitzeleh, if this could lay eggs, we could get rid of the chickens! Oy Tevye she gushed and takes ahold of his Shmekeleh! Stroking it she says, Oy Tevye if this would get hard we could get rid of your brother Shloimi!

Why South Africa will not only Survive - but thrive

People working  together as a team 

Diversity Equity and Inclusion 

Holding people to Account 

A desire by all to succeed and make this Rainbow Nation an example that the world can follow .

The talking Jewish Dog kvetching

Morty visits Dr. Saul, the veterinarian, and says, "My dog has a problem."

Dr. Saul says, "So, tell me about the dog and the problem."

"It's a Jewish dog. His name is Irving and he can talk," says Morty.

"He can talk?" the doubting doctor asks.

"Watch this!" Morty points to the dog and commands: "Irving, Fetch!"

Irving, the dog, begins to walk toward the door, then turns around and says,

"So why are you talking to me like that? You always order me around like I'm nothing. And you only call me when you want something. And then you make me sleep on the floor, with my arthritis. You give me this fahkahkta food with all the salt and fat, and you tell me it's a special diet. It tastes like dreck! YOU should eat it yourself! And do you ever take me for a decent walk? NO, it's out of the house, a short pish, and right back home. Maybe if I could stretch out a little, the sciatica wouldn't kill me so much! I should roll over and play dead for real for all you care!"

Dr. Saul is amazed, "This is remarkable! So, what's the problem?"

Morty says, "He has a hearing problem! I said "Fetch", not "Kvetch."

A Jew and an Arab meet in a Bar

A rich Arab...

A rich Arab walks into a bar and is about to order a drink when he sees a guy at the far end of the counter wearing a Jewish Kippah (skull cap), a prayer shawl/tzitzis and with the traditional locks of hair ... very obviously Jewish. So, he shouts over to the bartender so loudly that everyone can hear, "Drinks for everyone in here, bartender, but not for the Jew over there." 

When eventually all the drinks have been handed out, the Jew gives him a big smile, waves at him, and shouts - so everyone can hear him, "Thank you!" This infuriates the Arab. He once again loudly orders drinks for everyone except the Jew who, as before, does not seem bothered and once again yells, "Thank you!" He does this a third time, again not including the Jew and again being thanked enthusiastically. 

The Arab by now has become extremely perplexed so he asks the bartender: "What’s the matter with that Jew? I've ordered three rounds of

drinks for every one of the 113 people in this bar except him and all the silly fool does is smile and thanks me. Is he insane?" 

"Nope", replies the bartender - He owns the place!"

The comparison of Greek and Jewish contribution to culture

A Greek and a Jew were sitting in a Starbucks one day comparing their two cultures.

Over a double latte, the Greek mentions “We built the Parthenon, you may recall, along with the Temple of Apollo.”

“Well, it was the Jews who discovered the Summer and Winter Solstices.”

“But it was the Greeks who gave birth to advanced mathematics.”

“Granted, but it was the Jews who built the first timepieces.”

Knowing that he’s about to deliver the coup de grace, the son of Athens points out with a note of finality: “Keep in mind that it was the ancient Greeks who invented the notion of sex as a pleasurable activity!”

“True enough, but it was the Jews who got women involved.”

My dad the lawyer

Two small Jewish boys were talking at the zoo one day. “My daddy’s an accountant,” the first boy said. “What does your dad do?”

“My daddy’s a lawyer,” the second boy replied.

“Honest?”

“No, just the regular kind.”