Tuesday, April 29, 2025

New Tricks !!




After nearly 50 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the wife felt her husband, begin to massage her in ways he hadn't in quite some time. It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back. He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked his hand down, stopping just over her stomach. He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, working down her side, passing gently over her buttock and down her leg to her calf. Then, he proceeded up her thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and became silent.
As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, ‘Honey that was wonderful. Why did you stop?' To which he responded: 'I found the remote.'... 🤣🤣🤣

Saturday, April 26, 2025

A message to our neighbours and a wish for the future




 

The festival of Purim has just passed  , and again they want to kill us! This is the gazillionth time they've tried.

So what is Purim about? 

 Baruch Hashem - they didn't succeed, and we survived!  Let's eat!!! 😂

From generation to generation - Purim is a time that we read the Megillah, the story of Queen Esther, Mordecai, King Achashverush, and Haman… 


Purim is the story of how people want to kill the Jews and how we survived . 


The Broadeay play - Spamalot 

There’s a musical called Spamalot on Broadway - about King Arthur and his Knights at the round table  - a song in the play goes like this 


You may have the finest sets

Fill the stage with penthouse pets

You may have the loveliest costumes and best shoes

You may dance and you may sing

You may have butch men by the score

Whom the audience adore

You may even have some animals from zoos

Though you've Poles and Krauts instead

You may have unleavened bread

But I tell you, you are dead

If you don't have any Jews



So, what do Jews bring to the table ……


A living spring churning out inspirations and innovation in their communities


A spirit and a process with the  “Pulse” and Mission to be  a shining light to those around us


A community - that gives 


That is part of our essence 


So what happened to the cities when Jews left ?

Over the years around the world - where Jews left the cities - the cities degraded 


Egypt. before the expulsion in the 1950s, had a thriving Jewish quarter integral to Egyptian society, with significant contributions to the economy, culture, and intellectual life. After expulsion, there was a great decline in the economy and in Egyptian intellectual life. Jewish-owned businesses were confiscated or nationalized, leading to a loss of entrepreneurial spirit and economic innovation.


Spain: La Judería (Córdoba, Spain). Before expulsion, Córdoba was a hub of Jewish learning and culture, producing scholars like Maimonides and Ibn Ezra. Jews played a significant role in Córdoba's textile industry, commerce, and medicine. After expulsion, Córdoba's Jewish quarter was abandoned, and the city's intellectual and cultural significance declined sharply.


Poland - Kazimierz (Kraków, Poland). Before expulsion, it was a vibrant Jewish quarter, home to scholars like Moses Isserles and Rabbi Joel Sirkes. Jews played a significant role in Kraków's commerce, trade, and culture. After expulsion, the quarter fell into disrepair, and Kraków's Jewish community was significantly reduced. The city's economy declined, and its cultural and intellectual life suffered greatly.


Libya - La Ghriba (Tripoli, Libya). Before expulsion, La Ghriba was a historic Jewish synagogue and community center, symbolizing the long history of Jewish presence in Libya. Jews contributed to Libya's economy, particularly in the textile and commerce sectors. After expulsion, the synagogue was abandoned, and Libya's Jewish community was forced to flee. The country's economy suffered, and its cultural and intellectual life stagnated.


Zimbabwe , Iraq, Syria , Gaza - and the list goes on 


Countries where Jews are welcomed with open arms seem to thrive -


Success comes from those that surround  you

We will continue  to live by the laws of the Torah and the laws of the Country where we live-  and magnify the ethos of cooperation, collaboration, connection and community with our neighbours 


We will continue to show the world that when we work together, there is plenty for everyone. 


It's about friendship and partnership and the 5 cs

Connection , collaboration, contribution, competence and community


So this is a message to our neighbours - 

 Embrace the Jews. Let us continue to strive to  be the leaven that causes the bread to rise so that we can all feast together at the same banquet.


It's all about cooperation and acceptance of diverse people, including the Jews!


A wish for the future 

Our wish is to be friends with all the people of the world and live in peace and hormony with our neighbours 


There will always be those that are paralyzed by their jealousy and hate and want to attack and destroy us . We must know this and be ready to defend ourselves.


Continue to build a team spirit and magnify light and joy within our hearts and within our community. And through this course of action, eventually the Hamans of the world will come to see us in the positive light that is true to our essence.


Our wish is to be a shining light with our friends shining it too at our side.


Purim is about transforming fear and sadness to joy and light. 


"To the Jews (in Persia) there was light and joy… and may there be joy and light for us too."




Inspired by a great article by Rabbi Shaul Marshall Praver

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1DWZtBu9KA/?mibextid=wwXIfr

Saturday, March 15, 2025

Nick Bendel’s worst jokes ever

Worst Jokes Ever

* Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.

* What colour is the wind? Blew.

* Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

* Did you hear about the stolen dog collar? Police are looking for leads.

* What sort of dad tells jokes even though he doesn't have kids? A faux pas.

* What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.

* What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account? Prime mates.

* Sundays are always a little sad, but the day before is a sadder day.

* Did you hear about the guy who invented the “knock-knock” joke? He won the ‘no-bell’ prize.

* RIP boiling water, you will be mist.